M.O.V.E.D


This site will no longer be in use.

Thank you fer your cooperation and support throughout these years.

BYE.


I'm back from shopping trip with Chongling and Jean.. OMG! I was yawning throughout the whole trip and stretching away.. I think they see liao also sianz.. Thought i did what until so tired.. Then Jean kept saying me lan coz shop a while tired le..

But anyway, we had tons of fun todae.. Went Kelly Services with Jean and i was tellin her meet at the ticket DI DI there.. Ur know the sound of going out thrg the damn machine? DI DI what.. Then she was like DIAOZ, what the hell is ticket DI DI? We were laughing like hell manz and then the staff who was helping us with our registration were quite friendly. Then took train to Orchard meet Chongling and admist the journey, we TMD got lost. Shan't go into details but it was damn FUNNY and embarrassing. -JEAN!- I SWEAR not to go into details. Wahaha.

We gossipped a lot and talk a lot. Just like typical 38.

Met Chongling and then went to Recruit Express at Taka to fill in yet another reg form. And went to shop around and went to buy *ahem* for *ahem*. And then Jean went Giordano and bought another top and i was using her digi cam and taking pics da myself in the changing room. OMG! i'm so freaking ______. And then e 3 of us joined in for yet another phototaking session. Gawd, jean, send me those pics.

Went HMV for another shopping trip but we jus walked around the whole damn building. Lolx. Took neoprint at far east and it was sooooo damnnnn great...





It's kind of unclear and i don't know why. Perhaps my scanner is lousy but the neoprints itself are damn clear.

So Jean went to cut her hair at taka and she was so excited. Yeapz, babe, nice hairstyle. Dun worry bt it ya?

Crapped all the way home. Played word game in which i was to continue the last word of every word she gave and formed a new word. Played until like 2 siao char bor. Until we cried and our stomach were aching from all those laughter. And i had to walk all the way to the next bustop just to meet AH JEan to take the plastic bag from her which contains a bery important thing. I can't say it here. Lolx. But anyway, love ah chong and jean so much..!!

Tml's meeting Grace for anti-stress massage along with Siew teng. Gee. Looking forward to it.
I hope tml's gonna be a nice day. Ciaoz dude. Just called my daddy home to cook maggie mee for me coz i simply love the mee he cooks with all those chicken and luncheon meat and dried chilli and stuffs... *drooling*

I've gotta to increase my Maplestory level to 10..!! Jean, wo yao dao Level 10 le...!! Wait for me...!!


If it makes you happy, i wouldn't mind sacrificing my own happiness.

Can someone enlighten me to what is love?

Love is selfish . . . .

Love is like religion, you've got to have faith . . .

No distance is too great for love. . . .

Going down to Kelly Services for registration with PIgeon's gd friend.. And then meeting Siew teng at cwp to take contact lenses that i ask her to buy on behalf of my fav coussie and i heard she going to gif me the massage voucher... Think will be going down to far east plaza for anti stress massage with Grace tml.. And then evening meeting fav coussie for dinner...

OMG. I'm so fcuking glad my day is packed.

Every time I fall asleep I dream about you.
Things I wish that would come true someday.
I see us together.
Holding hands and you holding me close.
You never let me go.
Every time I wake up, I think about you first.
You never leave my mind or heart.
I can never let you go.
I can't give up.Why, I don't know.
Calling for you.

In case ur think i'm sadist, this is not written by me. Adapted from a website. Credits goes to Holly.

I should not be stucked inside my room whole day. I hope i get the damn job man.


This goes out to all dose who have lended me their hand and helped me up in my darkest period. I don't know what i would have done without the support of all of ya. I love all of ya sooo much. =]



It's a sunday again and i'm here surfing whereas in the past.........




The world is beautiful.... I must remember and try to see that....







Ok, i know you all must be thinking OMG here she goes again.........

Anyway, it's kind of weird to not have exams and tests and projects cramming up my brain. Feels so lost. I mean, exams had definetly taken a big part of my time. And now, i really doesn't know what to do without you know, something to do.

My dad has asked his fengshui friend to come look at the house, makes me tidy the room up and whatever. It's such a chore. I packed all my notes and textbooks and put it all into my cupboard. Hopefully, i won't need it again. *cross fingers*

Results will be out on around 2 weeks. Haha. I really hope i can do well.

Gonna watch the 2nd disc of "Quill", a japanese show. A guide dog who changed the life of a blind. It's soo interesting. Perhaps later i will watch at my living room with my breakfast..!! Waiting for my dad to come back from buying breakfast... Taking such a long time.....

To all dose SP students out there, study hard okie? And make this term's results da best fer yaself. I know your can do it with determination. Stop slacking in front of ya computer and looking at my blog. Get down to studies..!!






I'm back from the battleground..!

Gawd, i can't believe it's over. I wrote 14 pages of shiet inside the law exam paper. I really hope i can do well fer this paper. Hehehe. Bless me everyone. When i get my results... Thrg Np sms. Gawd damn advanced.

Jean gave me a lift home. Along with Wendy and Siew teng. She took a cab home so shun bian lor. What a nice gurlz. Love ya! But anyway, i bought lotsa snacks from NP CO-op. Bought liao also kinda embarrased. Because my hands were full of snacks. And after i paid, i had to squeeze all of that into my bag. People thought i 10years haven eat snacks, bought all at 1 go.

Gotta study for ma fmgt paper tonight. I mean, i really feel like suffocating with all that excessive information crammin up my brain space. My brain's already a peanut, how much can i store? Oops.. Anyway, chatting with ma junior, Gregory. Da-da. He says i'm like his jie jie. Wahaha. So funny.

Anyway, this sat is Jessie's ah gong birthday, so we r gonna change the gathering date to mon perhaps. Anyone of ur cannot make it? Peixuan and Manping, ur can make it on mon mahx? Inform me asap k?

Time flies, this semester is gonna be over, And i will only have 1 semester left with my current class. Suddenly realised that it's so funn with some of them... Will be missing them a lot.. after we have chosen to major in different area.

Today morning was kinda emotional. Dun tok bt it liaoz. It's been 11 days and ..... life still goes on....

I'm still thinking whether i have the money to go to aussie with ma gd fren.. PIGEON'S gd friend! I really really wannnnnnaaaaa gooooooooo...... I don't want to be stucked here all my lifee....

Dinner's here.. i have got to go... XxX Muacks XxX


Just came back from da cma exam. It sucks, and i mean it. TOTALLY SUCKS. I was late fer 10mins. And were only realeased into the exam hall when they started doing. So that means 10mins of my reading time is gone. Grr. I wonder if i did correctly though i know how to do, but some of the answers look weird. And da last question, dun even mention it. I was supposed to know how to do, but i screwed it up. HAPPY CINDY? U SCREWED IT UP. Now i just hope i can pass.

It's biz law paper tomolo. Luckily i have memorise it last week. And now left torts. It's a 2-4 paper tml. Pekhar's having a 1-3 paper. Anyway, she's so pervertic! She so sadly told me that she missed Extreme Gourmet yesterday. And she said she was so sad coz she can't see them eat all dose er xin stuffs which include cow's penis and cow's eyes i think. I wonder how i wonder why they ate those sick things.

I sneezed until my eyes's getting smaller n smaller. Was so paisay in the exam hall. Kept sniffing and sniffing so loudly. I mean those really loud sniffs and kept sneezing. While i had to survive on 1 damn pathetic tissue. Re-using and re-using it again. Disgusting huh.

Yesterday threw a matress onto my study room's floor and slept there. Because when i got up, i can study immediately. Haha. And rosy and beauty's kinda sweet, like pei me slp like tt. Beauty slept beside me. While my leg was resting on her body. Haha. Like those bolster.

Anyway, i'm really looking forward to meet my dwarfs...!! I misssss you alllll soooooo muchhh..... Jessie and xiao pek and jiewei all dose having exams... Good luck yor?

Gotta have lunch and then STUDY again. Darn... Lalalaala...


I'm waiting for the day when I'll be free, and along with me will be Jessie & Pekhar ( who will be freed on Friday ) and Jiewei and the guys. Haven't seen your for quite a while. Jiewei, have u grown taller again? Please don't, coz i'll haf difficulties talking to u manz.

I realise i have a habit. Study for a few mins and then surf a while. Don't know why. My laptop is forever so tempting.

Anyway, peepz, please make free your this coming saturday? For movies and dinner perhaps? Jiewei's coming right? I asked him on the MSN and he agreed. Good. Gou shuang kuai. Pekhar said she hasn't been to Bugis for movie b4 so perhaps we go there? Ur decide the place lor. Town or whereever lor. Jessie, make free ur sat hor. I must book u earlier! Peixuan, will u be working tt day? Manping, got work tt day? Dun book driving slots that day hor..

Anyway, thinking of going to Australia for my degree. I confirm + chop cannot get into SG university since hafta get at least 15As right? And top 5% of the cohort. My business degree costs $20,000 per year. Social Science and Arts costs $16,000 in University of Sydney. What the fcuk! I asked my parents, they were fine with it. But just that the prob lies with the money side only. Realli gotta find out about it this holiday.

Too bad i lost my previous tutor's address in Sydney. We were keeping in contact thrg mail that time and she kept moving house, move until i completely lost her address. If not, confirm can go over to her house and stay. She's a nice person, miss her....






Hey u guys. It's a cold and gloomy and windy night. Just finish memorising one of the chapters for Economics. It's such a torture. I just chatted with Betsy, my primary sch best friend and my best friend still. Realised she had a blog. So happy. Able to get to know more about her life liao.

But anyway, do u know what i did for my HRM exam today? I totally screwed it up at the last part. My paper was supposed to end at 11am. I was day dreaming at 10.50am and then staring at the question. But basically, i thought i had completed all of the questions. Then my eyes started to drift around and see what other people was doing.

At 10.59am, decided to do a last minute final flip through my script to make sure that i completed all the questions. And what the fcuk. I missed one part which was worth 8 marks. I can't believe i was day dreaming until that extent. But anyway, when i saw the last empty page for my last page, i broke out in cold sweat. My hands suddenly became heavy and lifeless. But i still managed to scribble something on it. 3-4 points on it. I hope to get at least half the marks. But basically, i think i might be able to score for the rest of the parts. *cross fingers* I used 14 pages in total for my HRM answering scripts. It was like, fcuk. Wrote until my hands almost broke.

But anyway, meeting Pekhar at coffee bean for some studies tml. I hope i manage to study. At least complete all the chapters forIEF and then i shall start on my CMA calculations part. I'm a lifeless jerk.

Tomorrow doesn't feel like a weekend. It seems like the start of hell. I would really be in HELL for the next week. It's a living hell.

I miss going out with Betsy so much. I miss those days, i really do... I don't wanna grow up... Do we really have to experience painful experiences in order to learn? Sometimes, i feel life just sucks to the core..

Met up with Manping and PH for dinner todae. A last minute decision. Fun though. Gers, we should come out more often. Remember our BBQ date? :p

'I wish I was a little girl again, because scraped knees are easier to heal than a broken heart'


Some pics taken during slacking trip in Holland V
















OMG! I'm practically dying from over-loading of information. HRM's a disaster. I mean, it's difficult trying to get all the theories inside my small brain when my eyes are glued to the TV or busy talking to my cousin. My favourite and 'gam' cousin of the century. Lolx.

Actually kind of finished 'studying' all my modules. But just kind of wondering if the information even got inside. HRM's this saturday. And my gawd, i'm too lazy to check the timing for my exam. And the seat number. Oh gosh. This is bad.

I sprained my neck this morning when i was getting up. How stupid am i to get hurt over such a small thing like this.

But anyway, i guess your must be bored with my entry since i din update for quite a considerably 'long' period of time.

Emotions flow when this song on my blog is played. It fits what i'm feeling so well. It completely blends.

I know a lot of friends are supporting me but i also know that you all cannot help me unless i help myself. I'm not torturing myself. I think i'm pretty glad that i have made it this far with fewer tears.

I'm glad. I'm so so so glad.

I'm thinking of changing a new url. Will inform ya people when my 'new' blog is done ok?

'Midnights and Dawns are the most miserable periods of the day. I wonder if you thought of me or have completely erased me out of your mind'


I accidentally browse on our our pictures together.

It brought back so much memories.

I saw us, so happy.

But whatever happened to us now?

I saw our neoprint that we took at bishan j8. It was a sweet one. I saw the pics that we took at the suntec armour dinner. I saw the pics we took at the east coast. I remember the times when i went with you for bowling, sitting there and supporting you for the competition. And seeing you coming to tok to me after you bowl your turn was such a heart warming feeling. I saw us playing around at the bowling center. I saw us having dinner with ur family. I saw you holding my hand. I saw you pulling me aside whenever there was a car passing too near to me. You said you would rather the car knocked you down instead.

I saw me pestering you to buy chocolates for me because the cramp was hurting me. I saw you rubbing ru yi oil on my stomach when i was having cramps. I saw me rubbing oil on ur stomach when you had gastric pain. I saw you putting on the anklet you bought for me at mos burger. I saw you teasing me. I saw you hugging me. I saw us hugging each other when we lay down and sleep.

I saw me watching you sleep as i know you had a hard week during BMT. I saw me waiting for your sms when you were out for field camps. I saw you comforting me when i'm sad. I saw us talkin on the phone, with u in tekong and me at home. I saw you going up the stage and receive your sword of honour award. I saw me crying because i'm happy for you when i saw you receive the award though u couldnt see me.

I saw us hugging each other and cried when you were going BMT e next day. I saw myself making the cross stich for you, wondering if you would like it. I saw myself thinking of you day and night when i was at home. I saw you encouraging me to take spanish. I saw you learning how to repeat 'Gracias' in spanish which meant thank you after me.

I saw how happy i was with you.

But, i saw again.. You stressed about Australia and letting me go because you din wan me to suffer. I saw you unhappy and stressed which i din want.

I want you to be happy.

I had to go.

And now, i'm crying my eyes out again. With no one feeling what i'm feeling now. With no one beside me and telling me not to cry. With no one wiping my tears away. With no one hugging me and holding my hand and say ' i love you '.

Love is not about holding on to the person you love, but rather to let the person you love go if doing so, will make him happy.

'Go for your dreams'




Aloha. Just sent my cousin back not long ago. I mean, not i drive of course. Just saw her to the bustop and left after she board the bus. Haha. A good cousin right me?

I felt better after toking to her.

We meet at holland village de burger king. But then i lost my way somewhere around the middle of my bus no 75 journey. I called Brian from my class immediately asking him if Holland Village was after Jelita Cold Storage or before? He told me it was before. And i was soooo kan cheong, alighted immediately and then called Patricia. Then nvm lor, confirm is alight wrong bus stop liao. Took a cab instead.

And i was late for dunnoe how many donkey minutes. OOps. Sorry about it my dearest cousin! Haha. I know you love me so u wun blame me de right? But anyway i was damnnnn blurrr.. I called her coz i dunnoe where burger king is. Wahaha.

But anyway we had our dinner at burger king. And we started to chit chat lor. Typical gossip queens. You can hear our voice from far away i think. Wahahaha.

Then we went to shop around first. Saw a watch that i really like but she told me pasar malam selling cheaper. Hahahaha. OOps.

Then we went 211 roof terrace cafe to have a drink. And chit chat more. My strawberry smoothie costs $4.80 and hers dunnoe what banana yogurt + dunnoe what shit is $5.90. Si bei expensive ok. Then we took a lot alot alot alot of pics with her digi cam there. Striking stupid poses. OMG! you will faint if you see that. I think we took 60 over pics. I mean, reallly was so happy. I was laughing all the way.

Then we came over to my house, slacked a while. surf a while. Then drag my brother out and made him took pics with us. Ask him to strike some stupid poses, he also dunno how to strike. alamak. these kinda things must teach one meh. but nvm la. he nv strike = stupid pose liao. Oops. Just joking. =] But anyway cousin was laughing all the way man, i wonder if the 20th floor people can hear you!

But admist all these laughter, i still thought of him. Very very much. I need you because i love you... I hope you are leading your life well.. I want to know that you're okie... I want to be beside you soooo much... You are still on my thoughts every minute.. You told me if i dun love myself, who will love me? I guess u r right.. I miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you...... I love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you.....

I think i gotta study my fmgt soon if not grace nag at me again. Oops. No la, i know you are helping me by always dragging me to study with u all. Enjoyable. Thanks my pals. So much.

FMGT SUCKS.

But anyway friends who tagged at my tagboard, thanks a lot. I know you all care about me alot. I will be strong de okie? Dun worry bt me hao ma?

Morning is arriving soon.. I will be crying again..... Memories.... are all it's left with me....

I woke up, sub-conciously thinking i was still with him. But then slowly i realised, what had happened yesterday and the week before. It has left a deep impact on me.

I thought of all the times. He brought me to eat pizza, NYDC for my birthday, held my hand, hug me, kiss me. But what am i supposed to do now? I'm all alone in my journey.

I was very serious in this relationship. But now i am crushed. Who wouldn't?

My mum told me not to think too much. But who will ever understand what i'm feeling? It's such a terrible feeling. I don't want to think about it yet it keeps coming to my mind every minute.

Today is the first day of our break up.

I can't get to sleep anymore.

Cousin, i understood how u felt now when you broke up too. You must have a more worse than me. But i know time will heal everything. But i wished time will just pass quickly.

Sometimes i jus wish i din exist at all.

To Ben : Don't be stressed le yeh? No one's blaming you. It's our own decision.

Later hafta go to meet Grace and Siew Teng to study at causeway. And then meet my cousin at holland v for dinner and kopi. Long time nv see her le.

Causeway, the place where we always walked around and shopped,ate long john a week or 2 before there, watch movies.

Just fcuking stop thinking will YOU CINDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just read Jialing's blog. I realise i really am not alone. I guess a lot of people r going through relationship problems right now. I don't know why. This is just a bad year. A bad month. A bad timing. A bad moment. Gurl, you don't be so sad too okie? I'm trying to get up on my feet now. But i guess memories will always be there to haunt me. I know you're happier now. I'm happy for u. From the bottom of my heart. Thanks for listening to my sorrows. Thanks for sharing and trying to lift me up.

I realise there are a lot of friends trying very very very hard to encourage me and lift me up. Thank you all. You're all my closest friends. Including my cousin, pekhar, jialing, jean, grace, regina, siew teng, chongling & a few more others.
I'm trying and still trying. Gimme more time.

My exam starts on this saturday. And luckily for me, i finished 3 modules of studies. I mean, read through and trying to understand + abit of memorising. Still left business law and financial management which is full of cals. OMG!

Haix, the memories r starting again. What the fcuk. I wan to be gawd damn happy la. Leave me alone..

3 years, it has ended on this very day. 10th October 2004.

I respect your decision. I know it ain't smooth sailing for you either.

I will miss you. I hope you do too.

I hope time will heal my wounds.

I will get up. on my feet. on my own.

I am determined.

Take good care of yourself. Especially when you are most prone to flus. Remember to buy Clarinase and keep in your bag or whatever. Dun fall sick at this most crucial time when u are supposed to guide those brunei officers around SG. And i'll always be there for you if you need me. Truly. This is from my heart.

I'm beginning to miss you.

I haven't ate for a few days. I'm feeling weak now. I can't handle this. But i will somehow.

I remember when we went rollerblading, i held ur hand trhoughout and told u that i had no confidence to blade unless you held my hand and be with me throughout. You told me i had to learn to be independent and you let me blade on my own a few times. I fell a few times. And i climbed up with ur help. You reach out ur hand and help me up.

But now, i have fallen. I can't see your hand.

I have to try and get up on my own. There's a million hands reached out in front of me. All my friend's hands. But it depends on me whether i want to reach out my hand and hold on to theirs. Or wait for you to reach out to me.

But i have decided i have to climb up no matter what.

I miss everything under the sun with you. But i guess all that have to be kept.

I know time will heal everything but i am still harbouring false hopes.

My heart hurrts a lot. Will there be anyone out there who understands what i feel?



Seeing my father come back after a hard day. And still having to deal with unexpected things at home makes me see how hard he works. And how he has aged. My family ain't rich. Just living by on my mum's salary and dad's salary. I don't even know if my dad makes money. There could be no projects to do. I don't know.

I am still contented.

*I wanna continue to love you.

This is a meaningless sunday.

I pray for my well-being tomorrow.

May it be a much better day.

Gd night to those who have dropped by or chanced upon my blog.

Morning. I never does understand why the hell i woke up so early when i could have slept like a pig until the noon. I seriously feel like bashing myself up. I don't know. I have been sleeping like i'm not even sleeping at all. I mean, I'm kind of sleeping like sub-consciously while the other part of mind is thinking of things. I think i'm thinking too much. It's always like this.

Just read szewei's blog. It kind of enlighten me a bit. I admit i do feel depressed at times, however i do try to tok to people to make myself feel better. I think it's always this "my mind is thinking n thinking at all times" that makes me feel depressed. Like i say, i'm thinking way too much. I really hate myself at times. Why do i have this kind of farking problem when others don't?

I seriously dun feel like going out anymore. Dun feel like going to ngee ann's lib anymore becoz of the long journey. It's a sat and damn it, i'm feeling so damn damn damn damn damn down. What happened to the once cheerful me! Darn. I must find the old me back. Seriously i need to go out and breathe some fresh air to let myself feel better.

I'm counting n counting the good friends i have made throughout my journey in life. And i think, good friends are harder and harder to find. You never know, if the good friends you find will betray you or backstab you the next minute. I can't see through people's mask anymore. It's getting so real. But i'm still glad that i still have good friends like, pekhar xiaohan(my cousin) grace etc. naming a few. I think these people are the ones i will go to the moment i have hard times. Thanks fer being there for me u guys.

I just changed my blog song btw. To natasha bedingfield - these words.

I'm thinking of where i should go to study. Teck Whye study room? Or NP's lib? Most probably teck whye study room.

Boring sat.

Let me repeat.

Boring sat..

Hi gurlz, i'am so jealous! Manping has completed all her circuit thing for driving. And her birthday is later than mine but she gets to do all dese first. Nvm. Manping, i'm gonna catch up with u soon oh. Wait for me ok? Dun pass ur advance driving test first alright? Hehe. just joking lah. ;D

I think i'm going to ngee ann library to study with my bro tml. Exam's coming real soon. And i'm gonna be stressed in such a short time. I'd better start studies real soon if not, i'll sure to be panicked until hei ku.

Din meet ben todae since he was busy with his stuffs. However, we did have a webcam chat and audio chat. It was kind of fun. Haha. I guess that's gonna b our main mode of communication he leaves for australia. At least kind of comforting to know that the technology's actually quite advanced. I wonder how people in the past communicate when there's no email, no telephone, only letters, when their relatives or perhaps husband/bf went overseas. It's kind of waiting for something yet nothing.

I think i'm gonna take the Spanish Set B(advanced) next semester. It will be costing me $157 but i will be gladly willing to take it since i did well for spanish this sem. And Estefania's said something like she was gonna recommend me for the recognition award. Hip hip hurray. But better dun get my hopes too high in case she forgot bt it or something. Whatever.

I wanna go to the american's idol concert on 5th oct at Singapore indoor stadium. I heard it's the only concert they will be holding other than in their country. I wonder if its true.

But anyway, my mood was pretty good. I wanna maintain it this way. I hope it remains.

My fmgt project got a B-. Damn. The whole class's projects got a B- for fmgt. Its like, no difference at all. Might as well dun tell. Kinda boliao.

Went for dinner with miss mao jus nw at long john. Haha. She wanna shit the whole time and yet dunwan to shit. Dunno what's up with her. But anyway watched SG idol and VERY VERY shocked that Jeassea and Beverly's eliminated from the contest. It's like friends realli can make u or break you. I mean their votes. Its like the 2 strongest is kana eliminated. Wat kind of results is this? I am realli not satisfied.

Yawnz. Boring. My head is soo heavy.

I have a wish.

I wanna register for driving as soon as possible. And i mean it.

M.O.V.E.D


This site will no longer be in use.

Thank you fer your cooperation and support throughout these years.

BYE.


I'm back from shopping trip with Chongling and Jean.. OMG! I was yawning throughout the whole trip and stretching away.. I think they see liao also sianz.. Thought i did what until so tired.. Then Jean kept saying me lan coz shop a while tired le..

But anyway, we had tons of fun todae.. Went Kelly Services with Jean and i was tellin her meet at the ticket DI DI there.. Ur know the sound of going out thrg the damn machine? DI DI what.. Then she was like DIAOZ, what the hell is ticket DI DI? We were laughing like hell manz and then the staff who was helping us with our registration were quite friendly. Then took train to Orchard meet Chongling and admist the journey, we TMD got lost. Shan't go into details but it was damn FUNNY and embarrassing. -JEAN!- I SWEAR not to go into details. Wahaha.

We gossipped a lot and talk a lot. Just like typical 38.

Met Chongling and then went to Recruit Express at Taka to fill in yet another reg form. And went to shop around and went to buy *ahem* for *ahem*. And then Jean went Giordano and bought another top and i was using her digi cam and taking pics da myself in the changing room. OMG! i'm so freaking ______. And then e 3 of us joined in for yet another phototaking session. Gawd, jean, send me those pics.

Went HMV for another shopping trip but we jus walked around the whole damn building. Lolx. Took neoprint at far east and it was sooooo damnnnn great...





It's kind of unclear and i don't know why. Perhaps my scanner is lousy but the neoprints itself are damn clear.

So Jean went to cut her hair at taka and she was so excited. Yeapz, babe, nice hairstyle. Dun worry bt it ya?

Crapped all the way home. Played word game in which i was to continue the last word of every word she gave and formed a new word. Played until like 2 siao char bor. Until we cried and our stomach were aching from all those laughter. And i had to walk all the way to the next bustop just to meet AH JEan to take the plastic bag from her which contains a bery important thing. I can't say it here. Lolx. But anyway, love ah chong and jean so much..!!

Tml's meeting Grace for anti-stress massage along with Siew teng. Gee. Looking forward to it.
I hope tml's gonna be a nice day. Ciaoz dude. Just called my daddy home to cook maggie mee for me coz i simply love the mee he cooks with all those chicken and luncheon meat and dried chilli and stuffs... *drooling*

I've gotta to increase my Maplestory level to 10..!! Jean, wo yao dao Level 10 le...!! Wait for me...!!


If it makes you happy, i wouldn't mind sacrificing my own happiness.

Can someone enlighten me to what is love?

Love is selfish . . . .

Love is like religion, you've got to have faith . . .

No distance is too great for love. . . .

Going down to Kelly Services for registration with PIgeon's gd friend.. And then meeting Siew teng at cwp to take contact lenses that i ask her to buy on behalf of my fav coussie and i heard she going to gif me the massage voucher... Think will be going down to far east plaza for anti stress massage with Grace tml.. And then evening meeting fav coussie for dinner...

OMG. I'm so fcuking glad my day is packed.

Every time I fall asleep I dream about you.
Things I wish that would come true someday.
I see us together.
Holding hands and you holding me close.
You never let me go.
Every time I wake up, I think about you first.
You never leave my mind or heart.
I can never let you go.
I can't give up.Why, I don't know.
Calling for you.

In case ur think i'm sadist, this is not written by me. Adapted from a website. Credits goes to Holly.

I should not be stucked inside my room whole day. I hope i get the damn job man.


This goes out to all dose who have lended me their hand and helped me up in my darkest period. I don't know what i would have done without the support of all of ya. I love all of ya sooo much. =]



It's a sunday again and i'm here surfing whereas in the past.........




The world is beautiful.... I must remember and try to see that....







Ok, i know you all must be thinking OMG here she goes again.........

Anyway, it's kind of weird to not have exams and tests and projects cramming up my brain. Feels so lost. I mean, exams had definetly taken a big part of my time. And now, i really doesn't know what to do without you know, something to do.

My dad has asked his fengshui friend to come look at the house, makes me tidy the room up and whatever. It's such a chore. I packed all my notes and textbooks and put it all into my cupboard. Hopefully, i won't need it again. *cross fingers*

Results will be out on around 2 weeks. Haha. I really hope i can do well.

Gonna watch the 2nd disc of "Quill", a japanese show. A guide dog who changed the life of a blind. It's soo interesting. Perhaps later i will watch at my living room with my breakfast..!! Waiting for my dad to come back from buying breakfast... Taking such a long time.....

To all dose SP students out there, study hard okie? And make this term's results da best fer yaself. I know your can do it with determination. Stop slacking in front of ya computer and looking at my blog. Get down to studies..!!






I'm back from the battleground..!

Gawd, i can't believe it's over. I wrote 14 pages of shiet inside the law exam paper. I really hope i can do well fer this paper. Hehehe. Bless me everyone. When i get my results... Thrg Np sms. Gawd damn advanced.

Jean gave me a lift home. Along with Wendy and Siew teng. She took a cab home so shun bian lor. What a nice gurlz. Love ya! But anyway, i bought lotsa snacks from NP CO-op. Bought liao also kinda embarrased. Because my hands were full of snacks. And after i paid, i had to squeeze all of that into my bag. People thought i 10years haven eat snacks, bought all at 1 go.

Gotta study for ma fmgt paper tonight. I mean, i really feel like suffocating with all that excessive information crammin up my brain space. My brain's already a peanut, how much can i store? Oops.. Anyway, chatting with ma junior, Gregory. Da-da. He says i'm like his jie jie. Wahaha. So funny.

Anyway, this sat is Jessie's ah gong birthday, so we r gonna change the gathering date to mon perhaps. Anyone of ur cannot make it? Peixuan and Manping, ur can make it on mon mahx? Inform me asap k?

Time flies, this semester is gonna be over, And i will only have 1 semester left with my current class. Suddenly realised that it's so funn with some of them... Will be missing them a lot.. after we have chosen to major in different area.

Today morning was kinda emotional. Dun tok bt it liaoz. It's been 11 days and ..... life still goes on....

I'm still thinking whether i have the money to go to aussie with ma gd fren.. PIGEON'S gd friend! I really really wannnnnnaaaaa gooooooooo...... I don't want to be stucked here all my lifee....

Dinner's here.. i have got to go... XxX Muacks XxX


Just came back from da cma exam. It sucks, and i mean it. TOTALLY SUCKS. I was late fer 10mins. And were only realeased into the exam hall when they started doing. So that means 10mins of my reading time is gone. Grr. I wonder if i did correctly though i know how to do, but some of the answers look weird. And da last question, dun even mention it. I was supposed to know how to do, but i screwed it up. HAPPY CINDY? U SCREWED IT UP. Now i just hope i can pass.

It's biz law paper tomolo. Luckily i have memorise it last week. And now left torts. It's a 2-4 paper tml. Pekhar's having a 1-3 paper. Anyway, she's so pervertic! She so sadly told me that she missed Extreme Gourmet yesterday. And she said she was so sad coz she can't see them eat all dose er xin stuffs which include cow's penis and cow's eyes i think. I wonder how i wonder why they ate those sick things.

I sneezed until my eyes's getting smaller n smaller. Was so paisay in the exam hall. Kept sniffing and sniffing so loudly. I mean those really loud sniffs and kept sneezing. While i had to survive on 1 damn pathetic tissue. Re-using and re-using it again. Disgusting huh.

Yesterday threw a matress onto my study room's floor and slept there. Because when i got up, i can study immediately. Haha. And rosy and beauty's kinda sweet, like pei me slp like tt. Beauty slept beside me. While my leg was resting on her body. Haha. Like those bolster.

Anyway, i'm really looking forward to meet my dwarfs...!! I misssss you alllll soooooo muchhh..... Jessie and xiao pek and jiewei all dose having exams... Good luck yor?

Gotta have lunch and then STUDY again. Darn... Lalalaala...


I'm waiting for the day when I'll be free, and along with me will be Jessie & Pekhar ( who will be freed on Friday ) and Jiewei and the guys. Haven't seen your for quite a while. Jiewei, have u grown taller again? Please don't, coz i'll haf difficulties talking to u manz.

I realise i have a habit. Study for a few mins and then surf a while. Don't know why. My laptop is forever so tempting.

Anyway, peepz, please make free your this coming saturday? For movies and dinner perhaps? Jiewei's coming right? I asked him on the MSN and he agreed. Good. Gou shuang kuai. Pekhar said she hasn't been to Bugis for movie b4 so perhaps we go there? Ur decide the place lor. Town or whereever lor. Jessie, make free ur sat hor. I must book u earlier! Peixuan, will u be working tt day? Manping, got work tt day? Dun book driving slots that day hor..

Anyway, thinking of going to Australia for my degree. I confirm + chop cannot get into SG university since hafta get at least 15As right? And top 5% of the cohort. My business degree costs $20,000 per year. Social Science and Arts costs $16,000 in University of Sydney. What the fcuk! I asked my parents, they were fine with it. But just that the prob lies with the money side only. Realli gotta find out about it this holiday.

Too bad i lost my previous tutor's address in Sydney. We were keeping in contact thrg mail that time and she kept moving house, move until i completely lost her address. If not, confirm can go over to her house and stay. She's a nice person, miss her....






Hey u guys. It's a cold and gloomy and windy night. Just finish memorising one of the chapters for Economics. It's such a torture. I just chatted with Betsy, my primary sch best friend and my best friend still. Realised she had a blog. So happy. Able to get to know more about her life liao.

But anyway, do u know what i did for my HRM exam today? I totally screwed it up at the last part. My paper was supposed to end at 11am. I was day dreaming at 10.50am and then staring at the question. But basically, i thought i had completed all of the questions. Then my eyes started to drift around and see what other people was doing.

At 10.59am, decided to do a last minute final flip through my script to make sure that i completed all the questions. And what the fcuk. I missed one part which was worth 8 marks. I can't believe i was day dreaming until that extent. But anyway, when i saw the last empty page for my last page, i broke out in cold sweat. My hands suddenly became heavy and lifeless. But i still managed to scribble something on it. 3-4 points on it. I hope to get at least half the marks. But basically, i think i might be able to score for the rest of the parts. *cross fingers* I used 14 pages in total for my HRM answering scripts. It was like, fcuk. Wrote until my hands almost broke.

But anyway, meeting Pekhar at coffee bean for some studies tml. I hope i manage to study. At least complete all the chapters forIEF and then i shall start on my CMA calculations part. I'm a lifeless jerk.

Tomorrow doesn't feel like a weekend. It seems like the start of hell. I would really be in HELL for the next week. It's a living hell.

I miss going out with Betsy so much. I miss those days, i really do... I don't wanna grow up... Do we really have to experience painful experiences in order to learn? Sometimes, i feel life just sucks to the core..

Met up with Manping and PH for dinner todae. A last minute decision. Fun though. Gers, we should come out more often. Remember our BBQ date? :p

'I wish I was a little girl again, because scraped knees are easier to heal than a broken heart'


Some pics taken during slacking trip in Holland V
















OMG! I'm practically dying from over-loading of information. HRM's a disaster. I mean, it's difficult trying to get all the theories inside my small brain when my eyes are glued to the TV or busy talking to my cousin. My favourite and 'gam' cousin of the century. Lolx.

Actually kind of finished 'studying' all my modules. But just kind of wondering if the information even got inside. HRM's this saturday. And my gawd, i'm too lazy to check the timing for my exam. And the seat number. Oh gosh. This is bad.

I sprained my neck this morning when i was getting up. How stupid am i to get hurt over such a small thing like this.

But anyway, i guess your must be bored with my entry since i din update for quite a considerably 'long' period of time.

Emotions flow when this song on my blog is played. It fits what i'm feeling so well. It completely blends.

I know a lot of friends are supporting me but i also know that you all cannot help me unless i help myself. I'm not torturing myself. I think i'm pretty glad that i have made it this far with fewer tears.

I'm glad. I'm so so so glad.

I'm thinking of changing a new url. Will inform ya people when my 'new' blog is done ok?

'Midnights and Dawns are the most miserable periods of the day. I wonder if you thought of me or have completely erased me out of your mind'


I accidentally browse on our our pictures together.

It brought back so much memories.

I saw us, so happy.

But whatever happened to us now?

I saw our neoprint that we took at bishan j8. It was a sweet one. I saw the pics that we took at the suntec armour dinner. I saw the pics we took at the east coast. I remember the times when i went with you for bowling, sitting there and supporting you for the competition. And seeing you coming to tok to me after you bowl your turn was such a heart warming feeling. I saw us playing around at the bowling center. I saw us having dinner with ur family. I saw you holding my hand. I saw you pulling me aside whenever there was a car passing too near to me. You said you would rather the car knocked you down instead.

I saw me pestering you to buy chocolates for me because the cramp was hurting me. I saw you rubbing ru yi oil on my stomach when i was having cramps. I saw me rubbing oil on ur stomach when you had gastric pain. I saw you putting on the anklet you bought for me at mos burger. I saw you teasing me. I saw you hugging me. I saw us hugging each other when we lay down and sleep.

I saw me watching you sleep as i know you had a hard week during BMT. I saw me waiting for your sms when you were out for field camps. I saw you comforting me when i'm sad. I saw us talkin on the phone, with u in tekong and me at home. I saw you going up the stage and receive your sword of honour award. I saw me crying because i'm happy for you when i saw you receive the award though u couldnt see me.

I saw us hugging each other and cried when you were going BMT e next day. I saw myself making the cross stich for you, wondering if you would like it. I saw myself thinking of you day and night when i was at home. I saw you encouraging me to take spanish. I saw you learning how to repeat 'Gracias' in spanish which meant thank you after me.

I saw how happy i was with you.

But, i saw again.. You stressed about Australia and letting me go because you din wan me to suffer. I saw you unhappy and stressed which i din want.

I want you to be happy.

I had to go.

And now, i'm crying my eyes out again. With no one feeling what i'm feeling now. With no one beside me and telling me not to cry. With no one wiping my tears away. With no one hugging me and holding my hand and say ' i love you '.

Love is not about holding on to the person you love, but rather to let the person you love go if doing so, will make him happy.

'Go for your dreams'




Aloha. Just sent my cousin back not long ago. I mean, not i drive of course. Just saw her to the bustop and left after she board the bus. Haha. A good cousin right me?

I felt better after toking to her.

We meet at holland village de burger king. But then i lost my way somewhere around the middle of my bus no 75 journey. I called Brian from my class immediately asking him if Holland Village was after Jelita Cold Storage or before? He told me it was before. And i was soooo kan cheong, alighted immediately and then called Patricia. Then nvm lor, confirm is alight wrong bus stop liao. Took a cab instead.

And i was late for dunnoe how many donkey minutes. OOps. Sorry about it my dearest cousin! Haha. I know you love me so u wun blame me de right? But anyway i was damnnnn blurrr.. I called her coz i dunnoe where burger king is. Wahaha.

But anyway we had our dinner at burger king. And we started to chit chat lor. Typical gossip queens. You can hear our voice from far away i think. Wahahaha.

Then we went to shop around first. Saw a watch that i really like but she told me pasar malam selling cheaper. Hahahaha. OOps.

Then we went 211 roof terrace cafe to have a drink. And chit chat more. My strawberry smoothie costs $4.80 and hers dunnoe what banana yogurt + dunnoe what shit is $5.90. Si bei expensive ok. Then we took a lot alot alot alot of pics with her digi cam there. Striking stupid poses. OMG! you will faint if you see that. I think we took 60 over pics. I mean, reallly was so happy. I was laughing all the way.

Then we came over to my house, slacked a while. surf a while. Then drag my brother out and made him took pics with us. Ask him to strike some stupid poses, he also dunno how to strike. alamak. these kinda things must teach one meh. but nvm la. he nv strike = stupid pose liao. Oops. Just joking. =] But anyway cousin was laughing all the way man, i wonder if the 20th floor people can hear you!

But admist all these laughter, i still thought of him. Very very much. I need you because i love you... I hope you are leading your life well.. I want to know that you're okie... I want to be beside you soooo much... You are still on my thoughts every minute.. You told me if i dun love myself, who will love me? I guess u r right.. I miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you...... I love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you.....

I think i gotta study my fmgt soon if not grace nag at me again. Oops. No la, i know you are helping me by always dragging me to study with u all. Enjoyable. Thanks my pals. So much.

FMGT SUCKS.

But anyway friends who tagged at my tagboard, thanks a lot. I know you all care about me alot. I will be strong de okie? Dun worry bt me hao ma?

Morning is arriving soon.. I will be crying again..... Memories.... are all it's left with me....

I woke up, sub-conciously thinking i was still with him. But then slowly i realised, what had happened yesterday and the week before. It has left a deep impact on me.

I thought of all the times. He brought me to eat pizza, NYDC for my birthday, held my hand, hug me, kiss me. But what am i supposed to do now? I'm all alone in my journey.

I was very serious in this relationship. But now i am crushed. Who wouldn't?

My mum told me not to think too much. But who will ever understand what i'm feeling? It's such a terrible feeling. I don't want to think about it yet it keeps coming to my mind every minute.

Today is the first day of our break up.

I can't get to sleep anymore.

Cousin, i understood how u felt now when you broke up too. You must have a more worse than me. But i know time will heal everything. But i wished time will just pass quickly.

Sometimes i jus wish i din exist at all.

To Ben : Don't be stressed le yeh? No one's blaming you. It's our own decision.

Later hafta go to meet Grace and Siew Teng to study at causeway. And then meet my cousin at holland v for dinner and kopi. Long time nv see her le.

Causeway, the place where we always walked around and shopped,ate long john a week or 2 before there, watch movies.

Just fcuking stop thinking will YOU CINDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just read Jialing's blog. I realise i really am not alone. I guess a lot of people r going through relationship problems right now. I don't know why. This is just a bad year. A bad month. A bad timing. A bad moment. Gurl, you don't be so sad too okie? I'm trying to get up on my feet now. But i guess memories will always be there to haunt me. I know you're happier now. I'm happy for u. From the bottom of my heart. Thanks for listening to my sorrows. Thanks for sharing and trying to lift me up.

I realise there are a lot of friends trying very very very hard to encourage me and lift me up. Thank you all. You're all my closest friends. Including my cousin, pekhar, jialing, jean, grace, regina, siew teng, chongling & a few more others.
I'm trying and still trying. Gimme more time.

My exam starts on this saturday. And luckily for me, i finished 3 modules of studies. I mean, read through and trying to understand + abit of memorising. Still left business law and financial management which is full of cals. OMG!

Haix, the memories r starting again. What the fcuk. I wan to be gawd damn happy la. Leave me alone..

3 years, it has ended on this very day. 10th October 2004.

I respect your decision. I know it ain't smooth sailing for you either.

I will miss you. I hope you do too.

I hope time will heal my wounds.

I will get up. on my feet. on my own.

I am determined.

Take good care of yourself. Especially when you are most prone to flus. Remember to buy Clarinase and keep in your bag or whatever. Dun fall sick at this most crucial time when u are supposed to guide those brunei officers around SG. And i'll always be there for you if you need me. Truly. This is from my heart.

I'm beginning to miss you.

I haven't ate for a few days. I'm feeling weak now. I can't handle this. But i will somehow.

I remember when we went rollerblading, i held ur hand trhoughout and told u that i had no confidence to blade unless you held my hand and be with me throughout. You told me i had to learn to be independent and you let me blade on my own a few times. I fell a few times. And i climbed up with ur help. You reach out ur hand and help me up.

But now, i have fallen. I can't see your hand.

I have to try and get up on my own. There's a million hands reached out in front of me. All my friend's hands. But it depends on me whether i want to reach out my hand and hold on to theirs. Or wait for you to reach out to me.

But i have decided i have to climb up no matter what.

I miss everything under the sun with you. But i guess all that have to be kept.

I know time will heal everything but i am still harbouring false hopes.

My heart hurrts a lot. Will there be anyone out there who understands what i feel?



Seeing my father come back after a hard day. And still having to deal with unexpected things at home makes me see how hard he works. And how he has aged. My family ain't rich. Just living by on my mum's salary and dad's salary. I don't even know if my dad makes money. There could be no projects to do. I don't know.

I am still contented.

*I wanna continue to love you.

This is a meaningless sunday.

I pray for my well-being tomorrow.

May it be a much better day.

Gd night to those who have dropped by or chanced upon my blog.

Morning. I never does understand why the hell i woke up so early when i could have slept like a pig until the noon. I seriously feel like bashing myself up. I don't know. I have been sleeping like i'm not even sleeping at all. I mean, I'm kind of sleeping like sub-consciously while the other part of mind is thinking of things. I think i'm thinking too much. It's always like this.

Just read szewei's blog. It kind of enlighten me a bit. I admit i do feel depressed at times, however i do try to tok to people to make myself feel better. I think it's always this "my mind is thinking n thinking at all times" that makes me feel depressed. Like i say, i'm thinking way too much. I really hate myself at times. Why do i have this kind of farking problem when others don't?

I seriously dun feel like going out anymore. Dun feel like going to ngee ann's lib anymore becoz of the long journey. It's a sat and damn it, i'm feeling so damn damn damn damn damn down. What happened to the once cheerful me! Darn. I must find the old me back. Seriously i need to go out and breathe some fresh air to let myself feel better.

I'm counting n counting the good friends i have made throughout my journey in life. And i think, good friends are harder and harder to find. You never know, if the good friends you find will betray you or backstab you the next minute. I can't see through people's mask anymore. It's getting so real. But i'm still glad that i still have good friends like, pekhar xiaohan(my cousin) grace etc. naming a few. I think these people are the ones i will go to the moment i have hard times. Thanks fer being there for me u guys.

I just changed my blog song btw. To natasha bedingfield - these words.

I'm thinking of where i should go to study. Teck Whye study room? Or NP's lib? Most probably teck whye study room.

Boring sat.

Let me repeat.

Boring sat..

Hi gurlz, i'am so jealous! Manping has completed all her circuit thing for driving. And her birthday is later than mine but she gets to do all dese first. Nvm. Manping, i'm gonna catch up with u soon oh. Wait for me ok? Dun pass ur advance driving test first alright? Hehe. just joking lah. ;D

I think i'm going to ngee ann library to study with my bro tml. Exam's coming real soon. And i'm gonna be stressed in such a short time. I'd better start studies real soon if not, i'll sure to be panicked until hei ku.

Din meet ben todae since he was busy with his stuffs. However, we did have a webcam chat and audio chat. It was kind of fun. Haha. I guess that's gonna b our main mode of communication he leaves for australia. At least kind of comforting to know that the technology's actually quite advanced. I wonder how people in the past communicate when there's no email, no telephone, only letters, when their relatives or perhaps husband/bf went overseas. It's kind of waiting for something yet nothing.

I think i'm gonna take the Spanish Set B(advanced) next semester. It will be costing me $157 but i will be gladly willing to take it since i did well for spanish this sem. And Estefania's said something like she was gonna recommend me for the recognition award. Hip hip hurray. But better dun get my hopes too high in case she forgot bt it or something. Whatever.

I wanna go to the american's idol concert on 5th oct at Singapore indoor stadium. I heard it's the only concert they will be holding other than in their country. I wonder if its true.

But anyway, my mood was pretty good. I wanna maintain it this way. I hope it remains.

My fmgt project got a B-. Damn. The whole class's projects got a B- for fmgt. Its like, no difference at all. Might as well dun tell. Kinda boliao.

Went for dinner with miss mao jus nw at long john. Haha. She wanna shit the whole time and yet dunwan to shit. Dunno what's up with her. But anyway watched SG idol and VERY VERY shocked that Jeassea and Beverly's eliminated from the contest. It's like friends realli can make u or break you. I mean their votes. Its like the 2 strongest is kana eliminated. Wat kind of results is this? I am realli not satisfied.

Yawnz. Boring. My head is soo heavy.

I have a wish.

I wanna register for driving as soon as possible. And i mean it.